Candy From Strangers
When I was little I was taught: don't take candy from strangers. When I moved to US the idea of Halloween completely blew me away. It was something completely different from what I thought would be the right thing to do. And till this day I am no fan of Halloween. I didn't feel like teaching the children to take candy from strangers is something I should promote.
But I have my own experience of strangers with candy - DFPS case workers, Investigators and Caretakers use candy and presents as a way to your child's heart. They gave my children so many toys with no heart, so much candy to lure them away, to distract them from what they are really doing - taking them away from their family.
It reminds me of the story of Hansel and Gretel. But does upsetting a child and having them feel angry and sad will do any good if you tell them what really is going on? I doubt so. When someone is determinant to do you wrong they will find the way to do it and having the child act out will only put that child in danger of being medicated to comply with the cruel plan their captors masterminded.
I always told my kids: never is a very long time. We say I will never do this or that all the time, but there is no way we can guarantee anything we will or will not do forever. I prefer commitment to the unknown possibilities of "ever". Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow.
My life has changed directions so many times I feel like I have lived many lives and they were all different, and I was different in all of them. So to judge a person based on something that person may or may not have done in the past you choose to simply not see the real person in front of you.
That is the beauty of psychology that if you can't see who the person in front of you is you are simply not looking. Most people will simply tell you who they are and move on. It gets complicated when you want to make a person into someone they are not, that's when you get rebellion.
At the beginning of last week I was full of hope and joy of possible happy resolution to my journey, but being judged based on allegations not facts is like flipping a coin: heads you live, tails you die. So if it would be that easy for them to just give me my child back - why didn't they just do the right thing? Because in reality they don't care about my child, they only care about winning.
If not for all the candy and presents my baby girl would be miserable right now, so thank goodness for the candy...
Survival is in the core of our species so I can hope that my kids will adopt and become one with the environment they are in, so they don't have to suffer until they are free again to be who they want to be and to be where and with whom they want to be. Because it is not I who is incarcerated, it's them.
The only thing I can do is keep trying to reach for them, leaving little crumbs all over the web so they can eventually find their way home. Fight for parental rights, so you don't have to leave crumbs for your children to find you.
Support DFPS reform and Innocent Tears Act. We need to change the Law that makes it so easy to take our children from their parents.
https://www.change.org/petitiontolife
https://investigatingdfps.blogspot.com/2025/08/innocent-tears-act.html
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