Reason To Believe

While going through the emotional struggle of separation from my children I can not help but to experience that my mind is in constant agony, it's like a psychological terror of a mind cage: knowing where your children are, knowing who they are with, and being free, yet not free to call them, talk to them or see them.  One thing is when you are incarcerated.  Either you are punished for something you did, or you are waiting for the outcome of the allegations - you are not free to go.  But when you are free, you are at home, and you constantly have to fight the feeling of "all I have to do is" or "all they have to do is" and you cannot let yourself do anything, because there are consequences to your natural desire to be with your child, it is not only heartbreaking but extremely torturing. I can't help to think to myself all the time: are all the people that made this happen enjoying themselves right now?  I can't help but to try to picture them sitting a...

 DFPS got in trouble over and over for taking the children from homes and placing them in the worse conditions and worse situations than they were in to begin with, causing life long trauma to parents, children and families effected by their cruelty.  They didn't stop, they didn't change their policies, they didn't REFORM.  They took part of the liability off themselves by adding private "non-profit" contractors to handle the "placement" of the child, that is what the child's life called after the removal from home.  According to Google there are at least 6 agencies in Texas that act like 4Kids4Families - they call it Community Based Care programs.  The name itself caught my attention: I assumed that number 4 is supposed to mean "pro" or "for", like "in favor of".   I was wrong.  There is nothing favorable about this organization.  4 is just a number that probably means exactly what it says: if you have 4 kids, the goal ...

   Court Appointed Special Advocates.  Another non-profit contributing to the tragedy of our society...  It claims to be advocating for the children, but in reality if you don't get to know the parents and you are not pro-family, you are not advocating for the children you are advocating for the foster society we have become. My personal experience with CASA is quite negative.  It is advertised as volunteer based organization, yet the people I have happened to encounter got paid.  They are not eager to make any connection with the parents or the family of the child, they are foster family oriented and they advocate for separation without having any personal engagement or knowledge of the family they are advocating against.  You will not see them reach out to you until the Judge considers Monitored Return.  This Organisation feels emboldened by their Court Appointed status to operate above the moral conduct of a human being forgetting that the best...

Either you believe or do not believe in God, I recommend that you, with the open mind, sign up for Our Daily Bread Ministries devotional emails for a daily doze of wisdom, encouragement and food for thought. I am a true believer that we are all children of this world.  Either you call it Universe, God, Nature or Alien, but all of us have some sort of idea of creation.  Whatever that idea is if we strictly use the experiences we actually have, we have to admit that to reach the mind of a child and to speak to the child effectively we have to get to the child's level and learn to speak that child's language: we get down on the floor to be on the same level, we let the child be in charge of the conversation or a play, we figure out the way to say what we want without actually saying it, or better have that child come up with the conclusions we have already established for ourselves by playing and setting them up for success with the scavenger hunt, putting clues throughout the ga...

 If there is only one message to take away from the Bible let it be this one:  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends." Prior to that message there are 3 statements: "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal." "And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." "If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." Love is something we sing about, ache for and search for our entire lives.  We admire the people that stay toget...

 Intense, constant, inescapable pain... Some people know the feeling of pain as a constant solid.  My husband is disabled and he has been trying to explain that feeling to me for as long as we have been together, but some things are hard to explain, you have to feel and experience them in order to understand.  Now...that I have this pain...I understand... I never thought that pain could feel as a "solid", a foreign object in my chest that I cannot move or escape from.  Something you live with, wake up,  eat with and it never goes away.  Even with the temporary relief, the relief is temporary and the pain comes right back the minute your mind is free from life's everyday commotion.  I could dis-attach and let the Universe absorb it, but it appears that I bring it back myself because there is something inside that pain that I constantly feel .... a connection to the pain of my children.  I feel like I am carrying this solid "brick" of the pain in my...