My DFPS Nightmares

 Have you ever had a bad dream you cannot get out of?  ... Do you remember the feeling of frustration, anger and helplessness, yet "God is everywhere" and there is something inside of you that still has hope that this nightmare will end and you will get to see another day.

  That is where I am now.  I have lived this nightmare over and over and I am at the point now that the only thing I see in front of this tunnel of time away from my children is hope for change.  They ask me in Court: "What is different since the beginning of this case?"  They don't ask me to hear the truth or because they are interested in what I think.  They ask me that question to get on record a praise, a pat on the back, a job well done, you saved me, I am a better person, I am new and improved me.

  If it would only be so easy...  Time changes people.  Pain changes people...  I did change.  But not in who I was and who I am, but in what my goals were and what they are now.  Something happens in human beings when you threaten them over and over and over, with fear of losing loved ones - the fear simply disappears and you are left with an unemotional you.  It is hard to be very happy or very sad, you just are. 

  While DFPS was investigating me and my family life, I couldn't help but to investigate them, after all once you see someone on the regular bases for a year you can't help but to get to know some things about them and what I found out is quite disheartening.  I found that most of the people that work in DFPS or their service providers don't really listen to anything you say.  Most are there to collect a paycheck and simply go with the flow.  Some put words in your mouth, some accuse you, some say you are guarded, and they all claim that the situation is out of their control.  

  You can complain, beg, cry - nobody cares.  If your child complains, begs and cries - they will blame it on you, like your child should adore the fact that there are a bunch of strangers instead of mom and dad telling your child what to do.  The system is faulty.  And not only because the foster care system is not good enough, but because we let DFPS take our children for no apparent reason with not supported by evidence allegations, without grand jury approval and with only the empty words " it's in the best interest of the child".  

  Nothing is more "in the best interest of the child" as growing up with the child's parents.  Parents are the people that were given to this child at birth to be with, to love, to care and to live with, not DFPS.  If God would want the government raising our children we would have children growing on the trees, or we would be printing them in bulk like money.  But that was not the plan - the plan was to let the children learn from their parents, so they can become a better version of them, so they can not repeat their mistakes and have a shoulder to lean on when they eventually grow up, this process is necessary for the humanity to evolve. 

  A parent-child relationship is a sacred relationship that deserves to be protected.  The government has no business taking our children unless both parents have committed an unforgivable crime.  We, the parents, have to come together, not when DFPS comes for your kids next, but now, before DFPS takes anymore of our children, before those children suffer an unimaginable pain of separation from their parents and before they spill many, many innocent tears that burn like acid right into their parents' chests. 

  I am starting this blog to promote the need for DFPS reform.  The policy of taking the children with simple allegations has to stop.  Parents are not criminals!  We deserve a better future for our children.  We deserve better laws for our children, the laws that will protect them when they become parents.  I may have not been able to save my children from this pain, but we can and we have to save their children from the future where "reason to believe" is the reason to take their child. 

  4Kids4Families has a slogan that I found very offensive:"A family for every child".  My child has a family!  My child wants to be back with her family!  And my child does not need another family! 

 DFPS reform is a must and we need to come together to better the system that is crippling our future generations.   I teach my child don't take candy from strangers - they give my child candy every time they see her; I teach my child possessions are not as important as love - they give my child toys and take away her parents.  I teach my child forgiveness - they tell my child her parents are bad.  

Enough is enough!  It's time to draw the line.  I ask all the parents to open their eyes. What is happening to low income families is a pandemic of "reason to believe" allegations coming from their ex's or pissed off teacher or a boss, a neighbor or even their own child.  You don't have to be bad to have enemies, nowadays if you are happy you will probably have more enemies than if you are constantly miserable.  I know that, because I am happy.  I am an internally happy positive person.  Yet, here I am contemplating my happiness...and what I found is that you can be happy and in pain at the same time.  Human beings get used to pain, pain feels duller with time, a lot of us live with pain and work through pain and it does not necessarily stop one from being happy. 

Happiness is a state of mind, pain is an emotional or physical state, and they can coexist.