Reason To Believe

In my 20's I read a book called "YOGA Discipline of Freedom".  There is a passage in that book that captured my attention and deepened my understanding of biological - natural connections: "Seeing rare beauty, hearing lovely sounds, even a happy man becomes strangely uneasy... perhaps he remembers, without knowing why, loves of another life buried deep in his being." You can take a child from the parent, you can take a parent from the child but you cannot ever erase the biological natural connection between that parent and a child... Today I was thinking about this "brick" of a pain I have sitting in my chest and the "freedom".  There is a reason that yogi say that freedom requires discipline.  I am a free being, but I am not.   My children are free beings, but they are not...  We are all free spiritually, yet our bodies are governed by society and the law.  If we would truly be free in both the body and the spirit we would be together right ...

Here is a powerful message that is hard to understand unless you are close to the inevitable misfortune.  Bible,  Matthew 26:39: "And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." This brings me back to the thought that since we, humans, can not see the big picture of the reality and truth, we don't really know what is good for us, and for the evolution of kindness and conscious understanding of the particles of our soul to happen pain is necessary.  When we burn ourselves with the hot object we learn not to touch hot, when we are cold we learn the importance of shelter and clothing, pain is the main molder of our character and sharing that pain is the teaching moment for the soul.  If nothing would hurt we would do everything: good, bad, average.... there wouldn't be any difference if nothing hurts, no one dies, no one is mistreated.  So pai...

There is a misconception in this world that if you suffer it may be a form of some sort of punishment from the Universe or God.  But what about all the good people that also suffer?  We say that Jesus didn't have to be crucified for sins but to give us salvation.  Yet we are still suffering in either sin or selfishness, or both... Sometimes I think we suffer due to the ugliness of envious spirits.  What makes one destroy everything someone else built?  What makes one pretend to be a friend to do evil?  Go out of their way to deceive and to badger when it's all but a moment and gone... I always had plans for the future, I built everything I have for my children, I acquired property and moved things around just to get more room so I can eventually invite them all in and have room for more.  Now... Sitting in the semi empty house if not for the crickets I'd feel very empty.  When was the last time you listened to the nature?  The crickets, the w...

 Wars around the world in so many places.  People losing loved ones forever on the every day basis.  And here in the time of peace we are also at war.  We are at war with each other and at war with ourselves.  It is hard to empathize with something you have never felt.  The loss of a loved one...forever...  I couldn't even imagine the pain of a loss of the child at war, but I understand the pain of a loss, and my heart goes out to all of those for whom that loss is irreversible.  In the devotional emails I get from "Our Daily Bread Ministry" they future a quote of the day, and the other day when the fear of the long term loss was getting the best of me this quote came in: Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?   Mark 4:40 I have faith that I am strong enough to handle what's to come, I just don't know if my children are.  They are too young to understand... they are too fragile... too far... I am also afraid that if my childr...

My new personal milestone: thirteen and a half years.  That is how long I have to wait for my youngest daughter to be 18 and have the freedom to come home.  I devote this milestone to her, because for the next 13 and a half years I will be reaching for her with the same passion that she is aching for me throughout these years to come.  As a polite county attorney highlighted I have nowhere to go and nowhere to be, I have all the time in the world and she insisted that the people take from me what I care for the most: my children.  She insisted that my parental rights have to be terminated, because my children are "afraid" of me and I cannot protect them. Let's talk about this fear for a minute... Do I think my children are afraid of me?  I believe my older children are ashamed.  They are afraid of seeing in my eyes the reflection of who they are becoming.  Many of us when faced with the disappointments of our mistakes hide from our creators: our mother...

 "Who told you, that you were naked?" Genesis 3:11 The first recorded mention of shame is in the Bible.  Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit and realized they were naked.  Shame overwhelmed their awakened consciousness and they started to look for clothing to cover their nakedness.  It is explained by different interpretations that they did that because they realized that they have sinned, but what does that really have to do with clothing?  We are all born naked.  In the beginning of our lives it doesn't make us feel one way or another.  I'm sure we look for clothing not just due to our awakened consciousness but simply because we are cold, we don't want to get bit by the bugs, we don't care to have sand all over our bodies and many other valid reasons.  Shame on the other hand is something quite different.   Once we understand the beginning of the shame we can theorize that we are ashamed of who we are.  Or is it who we have beco...

 When I was little I was taught: don't take candy from strangers.  When I moved to US the idea of Halloween completely blew me away.  It was something completely different from what I thought would be the right thing to do.  And till this day I am no fan of Halloween.  I didn't feel like teaching the children to take candy from strangers is something I should promote.  But I have my own experience of strangers with candy - DFPS case workers, Investigators and Caretakers use candy and presents as a way to your child's heart.  They gave my children so many toys with no heart, so much candy to lure them away, to distract them from what they are really doing - taking them away from their family. It reminds me of the story of Hansel and Gretel.  But does upsetting a child and having them feel angry and sad will do any good if you tell them what really is going on?  I doubt so.  When someone is determinant to do you wrong they will find the wa...